断背山在苍茫自然的怀抱中爱情与痛苦交织成生命中最难以承受的故事

我曾爱一个人，爱到手足无措。等一个人，等到绝望。这就是我眼里的JACK。

两个19岁的孩子，在断背山上度过了那样艰巨的时光，我ENNIS的爱内敛而沉默，而JACK的爱热情而自动，但是这所有终究敌不过命运的翻云覆雨。

20年，苦苦的等待和挣扎，整整20年。在这20年里，只有屈指可数的频频相聚，我们并不常常通音信。那时我们没有网络，我们甚至不打电话，唯一的联系，就是那几张话语简朴的明信片。如果不是死亡把JACK带走，大概我们会保持更长时间。

“这事只能发生一次。”

“这是我们自己的事，与别人无关。”

“我不是同性恋啊。”

“我也不是。”

在他们的心里，有着多少难以言说的挣扎，对自己，对这份爱，有着多少排斥。我一向行走在自己概念里的正常与不正常边缘。心里里我绝对不承认自己是个同性恋者。当他最终一次与JACK在湖边争执，他对JACK吼叫着说，“你去过墨西哥是吗？我听说过墨西哥有人专门为你这种人服务！你这种人。”哪种人？同性恋者。可我自己却从不承认自己就是GAY的事实。

JACK万箭穿心却依然表情平静。“是的，我去过，这有***什么不妥吗？”

我推搡着JACK，咬牙切齿压低了嗓音却是在怒吼，“如果然有这事，我会杀了你！”JACK终于爆发。有什么理由可以使他不爆发吗？他曾有过一些打算，一個小小農場就可以使他們象是生活在天堂。一些牛和羊，一些馬。一個簡單生活，一個簡單愛情沒有14小时滿載開車距離，没有任何阻礙。幸福在他眼里的含義僅僅如此。但他卻足足想了20年到最終也沒能實現。而我的借口往往是我照看牲口，大概那个離了我就不行的小農場主要供養闺女（daughter）。

“20年來我們一路才有的幾天，再想想你把我拴得多麼苦，最終拟在質問我墨西哥的事儿，而且威脅要殺了我，就因為想要一些從未得到過的一些東西。”

而JACK想要的是什麼？再簡單不过，他只想要我的愛。我和他一路過著簡單生活。他說：“”I think I will never forget JACK's words at that moment... This love, it was too deep, too heavy, life could no longer bear.

The news of JACK's death came in a simple letter. It was as if he had simply gone away. He wanted his ashes to be scattered on the mountain where we used to fish and hunt together. That place is my dreamland.

"I know you," he said quietly. "You are JACK's friend." We spent many days fishing and hunting there when we were young.

"Yes, once we let our sheep graze on the mountain 63 years ago."

Time passed quickly; twenty years have come and gone since then. But those images remain etched in my mind forever.

In JCK's room everything remained unchanged from those youthful days - cowboy clothes still hung on the rack, a clock ticking away at 8:45 AM - just like the beautiful morning on Disappointment Mountain when our love blossomed anew each day. Yet here lay a shirt stained with blood hidden away in a corner of this room; its presence shook me deeply as I realized it held so much more than just memories of us two lovers now long gone but not forgotten.

If I cannot embrace you physically, then let my shirt embrace your shirt as if I am embracing you all over again for these past twenty years without knowing how you felt about this unending longing for one another that seemed impossible yet persisted through time itself

It was already too late for any promise or vow; yet this love would never fade nor return but only linger within hearts entwined by such an impassioned bond that transcended time itself

Every man has his own Disappointment Mountain within him while every woman carries her own heartfelt memory of it within her soul

This is what makes up the story of our lives: The Unbearable Weight Of Love